Good Night

 

today after the final quarrel I burned all your letters
raked all memories of you inside me and like an
avenging angel chased out passions including a handful
of minor odors of sanctity left in the secret spaces of my heart
 
there’s nothing in the archives or in the attics about you
even the ice cream’s gone too and what is left is me
the one of whom you said will forever weep in church
as no one will marry me even if it’s in a cheap off-season hotel room
 
don’t know what nourished your theology but after the renunciation
I’ve retired into a glorious body with passions for jamming
with margarita all night long and surely I no longer go in
for simple irrational desires wanting to be touched
the way an otter loves water and patronize anything
like a cruel medieval baron but will be the way a giraffe
ambles the edge of the forest and nuzzles the tender leaves
dancing on top of the trees in the evergreen forest
 
what I become from now on is none of your business but
just understand the shift of power and perhaps my body from now
will plunge into things so eagerly like a powerful dog not
stopping for anything nor for you because between us
it’s Good Night from me

 

It's not the walk

it is not the walk that is tiring
rather when you go for a walk
and see the tearing down of green
tall trees for a football field and
suddenly you realize this was
the same place the village once
gathered and asked for rain from
the Diviner’s Bag and from the single
sitting the gasping earth had its fill and
seeds flowered rich buds and there was
drumming and dancing in the village I recoil
and remember Akpalu who was comforted
in exile by thoughts of our forgetfulness

only yesterday for instance prayers bloomed
beneath this baobab tree outside the village courtyard
I remember how mothers brought boiled eggs and palmoil
to the grotto and when at last their wishes were heard before
the next dawn they leaped like a wild dog with outbursts of pride
knowing too well their sufferance nourished their dreams

but today long dusty roads stretch from Abor to Tsiame
and young ones clap hands over wine parties and throw
dust into the face of the moon I remember the gourds
of palmwine that once lined the bosom of this baobab tree
and we harvested joy with our feet and heart with music
it is not the dusty road that is tiring but how we plunge into things
too eagerly like a powerful dog not stopping for anything
and now after the wine parties generations are scattered on
distant farms selling nothing but sorrows at deserted spaces

I thought I would grow old with fond thoughts of home
but I’m old and full of sadness with thoughts of the
transience of life hoping for a cool day beyond the skies

SONGS IN YOUR SILENCE

in a restless dream last night

I wondered about what keeps thoughts of you

alive in my memory and takes me through avenues

to listen to the voice of your eyes that nobody but I

could understand and plants in my heart songs hidden
in your silence and that silence encloses me with your looks

as you open petal by petal your heart as Spring opens the rose

to touch skillfully and mysteriously that place inside me

which no one has ever traveled gladly beyond any eye

 

ever since the dream I’ve walked in your silence

with your heart with your songs and the voice of your eyes

and the gestures in the silence enclose me with a love

like a naked light that brings whispers like silent raindrops

on my narrow street and without any musing my heart consumes

the whispered words of love in the sounds of your silence

and nothing which we perceive in this world equals the power

of your intense love whose texture compels me to surrender

to your love what I am forever with each breath

till heaven closes its doors on me

 

NOBODY ANSWERED MY CALL

 

last night I rushed home like wet swans
with your thoughts eating me up

and God knows I was thinking of you
but when I walked through the front door

something stopped my heart behind the willows
gently I called your name but nobody answered

when I called your lovely name

I could hear my lonely voice calling your name

when I went from room to room and all were empty

and the eyes of brown ponies around darken with gladness
I spent the whole day stamping the floor calling your name

but nobody answered with that silver voice and just like rain

my tears kept falling when nobody answered my bows

 

a note on the table brought me to tears

it lead me deep inside you and took me through

foyers into chambers of your heart telling me things

you did not say when we were grazing in fields

I can sense the arms of your tears touching my soul
pleading with me to stand by you and not grow weary

of loving you and to confess I love you dearly

 

how can I forget those angel eyes of yours

how can I forget those smiles that light the world

how can I forget the heart that glows in my dreams
you’re the love that’s always on my mind
and God knows my love to you I surrender

and I ask Him to give me strength to carry on

whenever you step out of the body to blossom above

 

WHERE I COME FROM

where we come from, joy
floats around us like clouds
on every lane beams of warmness rustle in the breeze
and love and beauty swing in our embraces
and we smile with all our senses from sunrise till sundown

 

where we come from dreams do not rest on fences
when the cock crows the young and old rise
take to the road with sparkling powerful arms
songs work-songs harvest-songs and jolly-songs 

hold us tightly in fragrant dances
and kinship are to us scents of magnolia and frangipani
and rituals of the elders look toward the skies
from where cometh our Help of Ages

 

where we come from on every village lane

and on footpaths you could see something lovely

you can see our children's smiles white and glistening  
young girls in braids as precious as gold 
the swing of their hips the rhythm in their gait
the smile on soft-brown cheek and the movement of the eyes
leave the lanky brother in the heat blowing kisses in the air

 

once I heard low bass voices crooning

on a Saturday afternoon when the Rainmaker

came out of the forest with Brides of the gods

the magical flowers of breasts lost many in the garden of chimera
and they disguised their racing pounding hearts
in the melody of the music in their heads

strangers who won't be for long idle spectators
left with their manhood shooting loudly ahead of them

 

where we come from there are many things to sing about
not these hard core blues low bass voices crooning
nasty cruising thoughts on corrugated Freeways  
turning nouns into verbs and fetching dreams
strewn with bones that melt melodies to huge fires
but with my smiles and deep dark eyes

I’ll continue to see there's so much to life than gold teeth

DEAR JUDGE

they tell me my children
have been found in the South
far from the jungle you call our home
they want to know if I want them back

they are Africans not because they are born
in Africa but Africa is in their blood

it is buried deep beneath their ebony skins

I know auctions sell entire farmlands
it's not the auctions that's upsetting
but it’s what they sell, the jewels of my womb
it is the armless children for a dime

they are Africans not because they are born
in Africa but Africa is in their blood
it is buried beneath their ebony skins

© 2013 Padmore Agbemabiese, Cleveland, Ohio

IT'S MOTHER'S DAY

it's Mothers’ Day

and all they wanted is a flower

for their mother but guards

will not accept flowers in the facility

 

maybe a card with a word or two may do

to tell her how much they love her

there’s nothing much to add

except to say they miss her

 

she has been away for decades now

birthdays weddings have come and gone

many births and deaths came and left

without a word from her

 

and they too have grown up

without her—a deadness around their lives

 

maybe a card with a word or two

can tell her how they wished

she were at the window’s sill peeping

to see them sleeping nicely

 

© 2013 Padmore Agbemabiese, Cleveland, Ohio

 

 

LIFE IN THE 'PROJECTS'

like sparrows on the streets and in caves

consider how they swoop and dive
and fatten on dusty pizza crumbs

consider the raccoons how they squawk and squalor

peck and fight for space to grow fat gray hairs
and live as a family in the wild consider them

consider the homeless man on East Euclid dragging

Giant-Eagle cart on the sidewalk every hour
with rags searching through litterbins for a meal

consider the hare the rabbit the crow and ants

with no pay stubs yet with no long days of boredom
and they lie in cleanest beds and smile at dinner times

then consider me after the gavel and the long sentence

living with cancelled checks crying over lost purpose
scarred of sirens and hunting shelters for meals

consider me sleeping in fields with dead numbers

consider me whose far-distant ancestors never crashed
in any trash but drank coffee with Carnegie on his birthday

consider me coming out of institutions that mark me forever

with a bindi that blocks my name from the list of humans
and to live I have to peep through thorn bushes and grunt  

 

© 2013 Padmore Agbemabiese, Cleveland, Ohio

JUST A BROKEN BOTTLE

I remember when he grabbed me with his eyes
and I couldn't yell or scream but smile at him
slowly he led me into his dingy room
where we could not be seen

behind the curtain he sat me on the couch

then he sat by my side and my flimsy wrap fell
he gazed upon my slender form and touched my lips
he was elegant and I was wet and cold and damp
and his touch of body was nice and warm

then his feverish lips he pressed to mine
I gave him every drop of what I had in me
and he drained me of my very self
I couldn't make him stop ‘cos for the first time 
I was loving it and loving it and loving it

I cared less about what Papa may say

I never wondered what Mama may say

I was just loving it loving it loving it
that's why you find me here today
a broken bottle, drained empty to the bottom
and tossed away in the trash of nothingness
I who was once adorable and full of wine

 

I LOVE TENNIS

I love women's tennis

and God knows I do
but it’s more complicated
to watch

in every shot

three balls bounce and bounce
and bounce and you get confused
about which ball to see

and Jesus wept

in the end