SONGS OF MY SILENCE

in a restless dream last night
I wondered about what keeps thoughts of you
alive in my memory and takes me through avenues
to listen to the voice of your eyes that nobody but I
could understand and plants in my heart songs hidden
in your silence and that silence encloses me with your looks
as you open petal by petal your heart as Spring opens the rose
to touch skillfully and mysteriously that place inside me
which no one has ever traveled gladly beyond any eye

ever since the dream I’ve walked in your silence
with your heart with your songs with the voice of your eyes
and the gestures in the silence enclose me with a love
like a naked light that brings whispers like silent raindrops
on my narrow street and without any musing my heart consumes
the whispered words of love in the sounds of your silence
and nothing which we are to perceive in this world

equals the power of your intense love whose texture

compels me to surrender to your love what I am forever
till heaven closes its doors on me

Can You Give Me Your Smile Again?

("Come to me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11: 28)

can you give me your tired self
your sorrowful soul, your hurting heart
that’s yearning to breathe love

you come onto me, all you who are weary and burdened
and I will give you rest

come and let’s eat love drink love and live with love
you who are weary and yearning to breathe love
come and taste the purity of love from the fountain of Love
let me satisfy your unquenchable thirst
with every drop of eternal passion

let me restore your strength in love
with the hope in my arms let me sprinkle
your fields with soothing feelings of love
and for those love has gone away
I’ll awaken light to befall you with delights

I am the anchor for your teeming aches
the haven for your roasted self
the porter of your broken dreams
bring me your homeless heart
and taste the smile of love

to you I lift my lamp to welcome you Home
and give you rest from all that you miss
in a kiss

 

THE FIRST KISS

afterwards we sat and talked about
nothing
about nothing

I looked into your eyes longer than before

and you had that drunk look

what happened next
I'm not too sure

last night I remembered the first kiss again

I remembered when with your hand around
the stalk of my neck you held me closer
and I fastened myself to you
and we made the seal tight

it was like what I get, when you put your lips

to my nipple, and your mouth go slack and my eyes   
turn filmy as though something was rising up
to fill my heart and I wanted to scream with a lol

that night everything took me by surprise
either the moon dozed off
and in the dark you gently caressed my lips
or you, took me in your arms
and gave me a dose of a first kiss

that night something sucked something out of my body

but whatever it was
it crowned the moment  and I was helpless 

that’s what I remember of that night

when your lips first touched mine
and we leaned against the fence
at the back of the old Presbyterian Church
and had the first kiss

TEARS AND CRIES

these tears
pour down like rain
covering my cheeks like a blanket
as they run down my face

no one knows
the pain hidden deep within them

no one knows the scars

buried deep in my soul
or why these tears burn and sting
as they pour out

walking through the rain
I try to forget the pain
I try to ignore the sting in my eyes

like many of my age

we lost our fathers before our puberty rituals
but losing a familiar face in an unknown place
leaves you not knowing nothing about you and your past

I heard many die after the rituals

but I also heard you aren’t a man without the rites

now, I know why I run from my fears
and I know why I’m followed by my tears

I want to leave this unfamiliar place
but where will I go without a father
or without a mother who left the dawn after my birth

trying to release the fears I locked away for days
only runs me into a sea of storms

never knowing when there will be a closure
all I could do is to cry myself to sleep
although I want to know more about me and my past

Just a Note

Dearest Dear,
I hope this note finds you safe

yesterday, I wrote your name on the steps of my house
when the rains came, the waves washed it away,
so, late in the night
I wrote it on the blank pages of the night sky
hoping it would glow like diamonds for all to see
but the wind came and blew it away

so, early this morning
I made the decision
to write it in my Heart
and that's where it will stay forever
with a glow that reaches the heavens
till death do us part

 

THE CROSS

lately, I've been losing sleep
dreaming about the things we can do
and lost in the sea of my tears
I wonder if we may ever know
how much we can unveil our dreams
or how if the light catches us
we can gather our breath

dreaming of how you could touch, burns,
gathering your smiles in my arms, haunts me,
imagining your hugs, pains me
reminiscing how you could care 
makes me want to cry

often I glance at your lips in the dark
and look at your arms and dream of when
you will hold me with opened arms

lately, I've been losing sleep on this
and it’s a cross I carry like the one of Calvary

how I wish we could walk
with courage into daybreak
away from the Night and in standing
on the clouds we climb into wondrous
moments and shine our light
together with joys of freedom
even if shadows persist

No one belongs here more than Me

the decisive owner
has
a room of his or her own,

goes
where angels fear to tread,
faces
fear itself,
becomes
the one love
the
only lover.

WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME GO?

you stand behind that old brown curtain
dressed as always in that Dana-Buchman-Twisted-Ponte
dress stained from sweats and dungs from the armpits
wanting to teach me the two-step and a turn dance
while stroking your rump in my face at every turn
and you don’t want me to pick up my suitcase and go

 you want me to smooth the hair back from your forehead
and kiss your neck with longings enough to make cows blink
you said you need my help like we need the jukebox for free
that’s why you grab my bag and nod to me to enter the house
to unpack the sack while you continue to stroke your rump
in my face till I can’t tell the river from the rain

then you undressed, and put on your red Sweet-Sixteen
lingerie and asked me to unzip you because you like that
you then pulled down the straps of my shirt
and unbuttoned my pants before I could ask a question
why do you do these things to me when you know
we both belong to somebody else and we can’t give
each other anything anymore than just a wink

often when alone I think about you
and wish you could call before anyone gets home
moments like this I wait anxiously by the phone
and wish you were here but, when I think the more
about you and me I ask myself many questions
how could something so wrong be so right
but I hate to think about us not together

why do you these things to me when you know
we both belong to somebody else and we can’t give
each other anything anymore than just a wink
I know it will break our hearts than the burning at the stake
but we can’t safely keep this secret for long and I can’t
secretly shuffle back and forth through your door every time 

why can’t you let me grab my bag and go